Bumping up
by zippizappi
Summary: Hanna has secrets. One-shot, set sometime after 7x19. 7x20 never happened. T/M


**BUMPING UP**

Sipping from a cup, Hanna stood in her kitchen, her attention distracted by the sight of her husband working at his desk. She made a beeline to his work area, picking up a donut on the way from a box which was sitting on the kitchen island. She stepped behind him to read over his shoulder. Leaning forward, she pressed against his back, bringing the donut into Caleb's line of sight.

"What are you working on?" She asked innocently.

Caleb focused on what he was typing into his laptop and absent-mindedly reached for the donut. "Analyzing data from the Radley's backup server… Thanks."

He paused for a moment to take a bite from the sweet treat. And quickly scooted backward into Hanna as jelly squirted out the end of it, narrowly missing his keyboard and notes. He stood up and turned to Hanna.

"Sorry about that. You OK?"

Hanna quickly started dabbing at the fabric of her comfy sweater. "Yeah, I think so. Good thing it was only water."

Caleb focused on the water spot for a moment, awkwardly using his cuff, trying to dry it. "There. Good as new."

Hanna stepped toward him, her free hand reaching out to caress his cheek. "Thanks. You do windows, too?"

Caleb's eyes darkened slightly, a grin breaking out on his face. "Maybe. It'll cost ya, though."

Hanna's hand moved to the back of his neck, lightly playing with the edge of his shirt's collar. "I'm willing to pay."

She leaned up to gently kiss him –

"Hey, you two!"

Their lips never made contact, the moment lost as they stepped back from each other as the hearty shout of Lucas came from the opening front door, though he remained rooted to his spot on the threshold.

Hanna and Caleb both sighed and gazed at each other for a moment longer, silently promising each other that what had occurred between them was definitely to be continued – and to finally ask Lucas to return their spare key. Hanna took a sip from her cup of water and slowly walked back toward her sketches on the table in the alcove of their apartment. Caleb turned his attention to Lucas, walking over to the front door to greet him there.

"What's up, Lucas?"

Before Lucas could say another word, a buxom redhead appeared next to him and said, "Hiya, stud muffin!"

With those words, she launched herself into Caleb's unsuspecting arms and pressed her mouth to his cheeks, leaving two very visible lipstick stains on his face. Hanna had turned at the unfamiliar woman's words and saw Caleb in a tight embrace with someone other than herself. She spewed water in shock and amazement.

"Stud muffin?!"

Lucas grinned, but his grin faded as soon as he saw Hanna's face. "Uh oh. Um… Caleb?"

Caleb was responding to the woman's unwanted overtures in true Caleb-fashion. His hands went to her shoulders and gently, but firmly pushed her away from him, the one-sided hug breaking off. He looked at the redhead. She was strikingly pretty and looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't exactly place where he had seen her before. "Um… do I know you?"

The woman's green eyes twinkled and a wide smile spread across her face. "Sure you do, sweetie. Don't you remember? I was the stripper at your bachelor party."

As Hanna heard the word "stripper," she began to walk toward Caleb, getting more upset with each step. She saw Caleb's eyes glaze over for a moment as he recalled his bachelor party that the guys had surprised him with a few weeks _after_ his wedding. And then stopped in mid-stride. She folded her arms in front of her and a slow smirk came across her features. Caleb's look had changed to one that she thought that she would NEVER see on his face. He looked like a deer frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car.

 _Aha!_ Hanna thought.

 _Oh man,_ Caleb thought.

 _Oh boy,_ Lucas thought.

 _What a hunk_ , the redhead thought.

Caleb turned his gaze from the stripper… Candy was her name, he recalled… and looked over at Hanna. He took in her body language: her arms crossed, her foot tapping, the smirk on her face, her raised eyebrow. She looked only slightly amused… if amused was the right word to use. He moved away from Candy and walked toward Hanna.

"Hanna! It's not what you think."

If it were possible, Hanna's eyebrow would have gone even higher. "Oh? So now you can read minds?"

Caleb looked back toward Candy and saw that Lucas was now standing next to her, a quiet conversation going on between the two of them. "Lucas? Why's Candy here?"

"Oh! She's accompanying me to a class. And I had to stop by because, last time I was here to do housesitting for you during your belated honeymoon, I forgot some papers in the study upstairs." And at that, he walked away. Soon, his steps could be heard, clunking heavily on the metal winding stair.

Hanna snorted. "A class? In what? Various ways to embarrass yourself?"

Candy looked at Hanna indignantly. "Actually no, Mrs. Rivers. I'm taking a probabilistic systems analysis class at the University of Pennsylvania. And Mr. Gottesman is the co-lecturer."

Hanna had the sense to look ashamed at her comment. "I'm sorry, Miss… ?"

"Cane. Candy Cane is my stage name. My real name is Carly Cooper. And… apology accepted." She extended her hand and Hanna graciously shook it.

"Probabilistic analysis and stripping are a strange combination, Carly."

Carly laughed softly. "I know. But, when you gotta pay your way through college, odd jobs aren't that odd anymore."

Lucas came walking down the stairs, clutching a heap of unsorted and partially crumpled papers to his chest. Carly looked at her watch. "We'd better go, Mr. Gottesman. It was nice meeting you Mrs. Rivers." She winked at Caleb, smiling as she saw the flush of embarrassment begin to rise on his face. "Bye, stud muffin."

"Bye, guys," Lucas said as he walked out of the door. "Oh, wait." He reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a key. "Here you go. Forgot to return it to you." He turned on his heel and disappeared into the hallway outside.

As she passed Hanna to join Lucas on his way to the elevator, Carly whispered to Hanna. Hanna shot a look at Caleb, grinned and nodded. Carly giggled and hurried after Lucas.

Hanna and Caleb stood in their doorframe and watched them walk away together. As the elevator doors closed after Carly and Lucas, Caleb breathed a sigh of relief. He immediately went on the alert though when he heard Hanna clear her throat. He looked at her anxiously.

"Need a glass of water or something?"

Hanna wouldn't be distracted. "Stud muffin? Stripper?"

"It's not what you think, Hanna." He walked back toward his desk, Hanna following closely behind him.

"What am I thinking, Caleb? Tell me. Aren't we the kind of couple that can communicate telepathically?" Hanna took a step toward her husband. Her voice dropped to a seductive whisper. "So what _was_ your bachelor party like?"

Caleb shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing memorable."

He sat down at his desk and tried to focus on his work. Hanna sat on the edge of his desk, her short skirt riding high on her thigh.

Right in Caleb's line of sight.

Enough to distract him. Enough to want him to focus on her rather than on his work. Which is exactly where Hanna wanted his focus at that moment.

"Nothing memorable?" she echoed. "Caleb, Candy… uh, Carly… is a beautiful woman! With breasts out beyond most mortal women's! How can you sit there and say that there was nothing memorable about your bachelor party?"

Caleb let out a long breath. Obviously, Hanna was not going to let the subject drop. "OK, Hanna. What do you want? Details?"

Hanna grinned. "I'm you wife. Of course I want details."

Caleb smiled softly. "And a damn curious one. OK. The bachelor party. Let me start by saying that I had no idea that I was going to have one. It was a complete surprise to me."

"I remember."

Caleb nodded. "Yeah. Lucas said that he and Toby wanted to buy me a drink to celebrate our getting married. So, we went to a bar in Philly. And… surprise!"

"That part I already knew," Hanna rolled her eyes. "Who was there with you?"

"Let's see… Lucas… Toby… Ezra… Henry from work… Ted…"

"Ted? Ted was there? Isn't that like an unforgivable sin?"

"Yeah, he was." Caleb chuckled as a particular memory flashed through his mind.

"What? What's that chuckle for?"

"Oh just that… nah, I can't tell you."

"Caleb!"

"Baby, we were all sworn to secrecy. I gave my _word_." Caleb emphasized "word" and Hanna knew that this was one thing that she was going to have to discover without his help.

She sighed. "OK… go on."

Caleb shrugged his shoulders. "What can I tell you? We drank some beers… everyone got drunk … except for me… And Candy… uh, Carly stripped."

"And that was it?"

"That was it."

"That's all you're going to tell me?"

"That's all there is to tell… well, except for one thing…"

"What's that?"

"I kept wishing that the party would end so that I could be with you."

"Aww, that is so sweet, Caleb." She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I don't believe you for a minute, but it's a sweet thought." She smiled, hopped off his desk, and walked back to her own desk.

"It's the truth, Hanna!"

She looked at him sweetly from her desk when his phone rang and brought them both back to the reality of a normal business day. Caleb answered the call and walked over to the bedroom so he wouldn't bother Hanna.

A few moments later, he was back in the living room, striding over to Hanna and brushing a light kiss to her forehead. "I gotta run, Han. Your mom called. The computer at the front desk crashed and she can't get it back online."

"Alright. Drive carefully," Hanna smiled at him. "And you better wipe off that lipstick first," she added before turning her attention back to her pencil and the sketch in front of her. As she heard the front door shut, signalizing his departure, she thought for a moment and smiled to herself before pushing away from her desk. "Let's see if someone's been drunk enough to forget about a certain oath."

She picked up her phone and quickly typed in a number. When a familiar "Hello," could be heard, she put it on speaker and set the phone down on her desk while opening her laptop and hitting some keys to bring it to life. "Toby? Hi! Got a minute?"

Toby's voice on the other end of the line echoed through the small space of her work alcove. "What's up, Hanna?"

"I've got an idea on how to surprise Caleb for some kind of after work special."

After a beat, Toby said. "I'm listening." Hanna could tell that he was grinning into his phone, always down for some mischief of his own.

Hanna began to explain why she needed his help. "I was just talking to a young lady… she's in Lucas's probability class… she works as a stripper."

Toby grinned. "You don't say. What's her name? Maybe I know her."

"Oh, I'm sure you do. Actually, I was hoping that you would. She was the stripper at Caleb's bachelor party."

Toby's grin widened. "Ah! Candy something…"

"Candy Cane."

"That's it!"

"Actually, her name is Carly Cooper, college student."

Toby's grin widened even more. "Caleb's bachelor party… now _there_ was a bachelor party!"

Hanna smiled. _Gotcha now, Caleb!_ she thought. "So I've heard."

Toby's coughed, his grin wavering slightly. "You heard? How did you hear?"

Hanna smiled. "Toby, you know that Caleb and I don't have any secrets from each other."

"I know, but…"

Hanna quickly shifted the focus of their conversation. "Is it true, Toby? Did Ted really do what Caleb said he did?"

The trick was working. Toby chuckled again as he remembered the event that Hanna was alluding to. "He sure did. Stood right up there next to Candy wearing nothing but his boxers and a fig leaf."

Hanna hid her shock and amazement well. Keeping her tone slightly bemused, "He really wore a fig leaf…"

Toby nodded. "Uh huh. Did a great Hamlet soliloquy too. You should have seen him, Hanna. The 'to be or not to be' speech. In his boxers."

Hanna smiled. "Yeah, he has a thing with Shakesbeard." She cleared her throat, trying to get to the point at last. "I'll get straight to the point here, Tobe. I need Carly's phone number. Or does she have a personal website or something?" When she was met with silence on the other end of the line, she quickly added, "Look, she's a college student. She needs some money, and she offered to help with some research for me, that's all."

Toby nodded. "Sure thing." He chuckled at another memory. "Alright, got something to write there with you?"

"Sure. Shoot."

oOOo

Four hours later, Caleb finally returned from helping Hanna's mother with the server issues. Hanna had left the loft shortly after her phone call with Toby. "Gone to buy fabrics" the note she left on Caleb's desk, signed by a slightly smeared lipstick print of her kiss mouth, said. The earlier conversation about the bachelor party was a faded memory. Or so Caleb thought.

oOOo

That evening, after a home-cooked pasta dinner, the doorbell rang. Caleb got up from the couch, his attention focused on the Netflix menu on the television set. He went to the front door and opened it. "Can I help –?"

"Hi, Mr. Rivers," Carly Cooper said. "Is Hanna home? She said to stop by after 9. I hope I'm not disturbing you."

Caleb swallowed and found his voice. "Come on in, Can… uh, Carly." He closed the door behind her. She was trailing a small suitcase. "You said that Hanna asked you to stop by?"

Carly turned to him. "Uh huh. Something about a friend of hers who's interested in designing some extravagant underwear line."

"Underwear line?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about extending my portfolio to bump up my profit on sales. Carly sees a lot of fancy underwear at work. I need to do some research on what's driving men crazy in that department these days." Caleb and Carly both turned as Hanna walked out of the bedroom. She wore a dressing gown, a silk robe, tightly belted to stay closed. Hanna smiled warmly at their guest. "Hi Carly. Sorry about the dressing gown. I took a quick shower before you came over."

"I don't think it's the underwear that drives them crazy, Han," Caleb tried vaguely, his gaze changing back and forth between the two women, suspicious of the things that were going on behind his back.

"Hi, Hanna." Carly ignored his submission and took a quick glance at Caleb before looking back at Hanna. "Are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely. Why don't we go in the bedroom next door? We'll be more comfortable in there." Hanna led the way followed by Carly… and her nosy husband. Caleb sat down on the bed, watching the women open the suitcase together that Carly had brought along, revealing a messy pile of thongs and bras, lacy hipster bottoms and silky stockings. He loved to watch Hanna when she was working. Especially, when she was thinking about expanding her women's clothing line by sexy garments.

"So, Carly… Why stripping as a part-time job?" Hanna tried to make light conversation with Caleb being there. "You could just as well work as a waitress, you know."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call it stripping… it's more like… dancing."

"Dancing?" Hanna scoffed.

"Performance dancing, yeah. It's just that in the process of the dance, my clothes come off," Carly explained matter-of-factly.

Hanna roamed through the contents of the suitcase while Carly talked about how she had gotten involved in "performance dancing," as she called it. "I started dancing when I was five, and I always wanted to be a professional dancer. But when people started telling me that I wasn't tall enough to pursue a career, I decided to make it my hobby and major in Computer Science. I answered an ad in the college paper. At first, I thought it was gonna be something cheap and sleazy, but it wasn't. Not at all. And it's never total nudity, just topless. The hours are decent and I make enough money to pay for my college fees."

"Doesn't it bother you, the men staring at you?" Hanna looked at her incredulously.

"Not really. I'm very proud of the way I look. Besides, most of the time at the bachelor parties, the 'guest of honor' is usually so sweet and nervous that his fiancée will find out that he just kind of sits there and blushes." She turned to Caleb. "Like what you did, Mr. Rivers."

Caleb smiled weakly. Hanna stared at him and bit her lower lip to stop herself from laughing out loud.

"Yeah, I think that's my cue. I'm just gonna leave you two alone and watch that "Stranger Things" series that Lucas recommended." He got up from the bed and was gone within a second.

oOOo

Caleb had just finished the first episode when the door to their bedroom opened, and Hanna and Carly stepped out again. "OK, Carly. I think that's all the information I need right now. Thanks for stopping by."

"No problem. Call me if you need anything else. And I'll see if I can move some things around for the party that you're planning for your friend."

Hanna walked Carly to the front door. After she had left, Hanna let out the giggle that had been threatening to escape earlier.

"What party?" Caleb looked up from the TV screen.

"Oh, nothing," Hanna brushed him off. "Did you really just sit there and blush? At your bachelor party, I mean."

Caleb turned off the TV and started walking toward their bedroom. "I really did, Han."

Hanna continued to smile as she followed behind. "Was she good, Caleb?"

She entered their bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, watching as Caleb removed his clothes and got ready for bed. She sighed as his shirt came off revealing his broad expanse of chest, his muscles relaxed for the moment. She let her eyes wander down his torso, focusing on the small line of hair that ran from his navel to somewhere below the waistband of his pants. Hanna felt her body beginning to react. She sighed again and repeated her question. "Was she good, Caleb?"

Caleb stopped for a moment and looked at Hanna, his hands at his fly. "What do you mean by 'good'?"

He unzipped his pants and pushed them off his hips. Stepping out of them, he hung them up over the back of a chair and turned to Hanna wearing only his boxers.

"Huh? Oh. Dancing. I meant about her dancing. Was she good?"

"I suppose. I haven't really seen that many strippers."

"That many? Just exactly how many strippers _have_ you seen?"

Caleb sat down next to Hanna and reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Just one."

At Caleb's touch, Hanna felt a familiar warmth begin to spread through her. "One?"

Caleb thought for a moment. "OK, two. If you count _your_ performance after Aria and Ezra's wedding reception."

His hand cupped the side of her face, his thumb softly stroking her cheek. Hanna shivered, whether from his touch or from the memory of that alcohol-induced dance, she wasn't sure. She was sure, though, that the memory of that dance was no longer embarrassing. In fact, it was quite… exciting. She held his hand against her face.

"Well then, you can compare. Who's the better dancer?"

Hanna moved his hand away from her face and down along her throat before placing his hand on his lap. "Or maybe I should refresh your memory …"

She stood up and walked to the dresser. Keeping her back turned to Caleb, she pressed the button on the CD player that she had set up. As the opening strains of "You can leave your hat on" blared from the speakers, Caleb watched open-mouthed in amazement.

Hanna turned to face Caleb, her hands on the knotted belt that kept her dressing gown closed. Moving to the music's beat with her natural grace and rhythm, Hanna slowly undid the belt, letting it trail through her fingers.

Caleb held his breath as he waited for the dressing gown to part slightly. He let out a moan of disappointment as Hanna quickly turned around, allowing only the quickest of glimpses of something black against smooth skin.

Hanna looked over her shoulder at Caleb and winked. She pulled the dressing gown off one shoulder to reveal its bareness. She turned and looked over the other shoulder and repeated the action. She let the gown drop slowly, revealing the silky whiteness of her back. The dressing gown stopped at the small of her back and Hanna again turned to face Caleb, her hands clasping the front of the gown at her breasts.

She stepped toward Caleb showing him a long leg clad in a black silk stocking, a glimmer of skin showing at the lacy top against a red garter that held the stocking in place.

The music continued in the background, but Caleb barely heard it. All of his attention, all of his senses were focused on the vision standing before him. He heard the rustle of the silk stockings as she walked toward him. He smelled her unique scent, intoxicating him, making him feel light-headed. He saw her breasts rise and fall with each shallow breath as she slowly brought her hand down to reveal more of her flesh.

A sultry smile played on Hanna's lips as she watched Caleb's reactions. She saw his eyes darken with passion and desire. She saw the flare of his nostrils as he deeply inhaled her scent. She turned her gaze downward past his chest and taut nipples and saw his arousal straining against the material of his boxers.

She heard the music and knew that the song was about to end. Just as she had practiced earlier in the day with Carly, she waited for the exact moment in the music before dropping her hand to her side, the robe cascading gracefully to the floor revealing to Caleb's eyes what he had been seeing only glimpses of.

Caleb's sharp intake of breath told Hanna in no uncertain terms that her timing had been impeccable. She walked slowly toward him as the music came to an end, wearing only her smile and her garter-held stockings. As the final tunes were heard, she stood before Caleb near enough to feel his warm breath against her stomach.

"So? Was it good?"

With a deep guttural growl, Caleb stood up and pulled Hanna to him, letting her feel just how "good" it had been for him. And how "good" it was going to be for her. Hanna gasped in delight as she felt his firm erection pressing against her inner thigh. She reached between them and grasped him through his boxers.

Their gazes locked, each searching for the love that lay beneath, between, and on top of all the passion, lust, and desire they were feeling for each other. Caleb leaned down and closed his mouth over hers, his tongue plunging into hers, drawing a moan from Hanna.

Her hands grasped Caleb's boxers at the waistband and pushed them off his hips. As they fell to the floor and Caleb stepped out of them, Hanna's hand grasped his erection, her fingers curling around its width. Caleb moaned at her touch, his arms tightening around her, pulling her closer to him.

He fell backwards onto the bed, cushioning Hanna against him. They rolled until Hanna was pressed into the mattress by Caleb's weight. He eased off her a bit, his hand reaching past her moist folds to seek out her swollen center. Hanna gasped as Caleb alternately pressed and stroked there, a renewed wetness covering his hand.

Hanna stroked Caleb's arousal, feeling him lengthen. She couldn't wait any longer. The heated look in Caleb's eyes as she had slowly undressed for him had excited her more than she thought possible. She guided him to her opening, spreading her legs apart. She raised her hips, pressing his tip into her. Caleb felt Hanna close around him and didn't resist the need to press into her. He thrust his hips down, entering her more, but not yet completely. He pulled out again, moaning briefly at the loss of intimate contact. Pressing the tip of his erection against her center, Caleb let Hanna feel the heat radiating from him. She groaned, begging him with her body to continue, her hips rising off the mattress.

Caleb answered her wordless plea by moving against her, letting her wetness cover his erection until he was slick from her juices. He slid into her, sheathing himself completely, a groan of satisfaction coming from both of them. They lay there, neither of them moving, both of them wanting to prolong this moment, this feeling of completeness and fulfillment.

The tension continued to build inside of them, stimulated by the soft caresses and the gentle kisses they gave each other. As the tension built, the caresses changed from soft to urgent; the kisses from gentle to deep. As the tension built, Hanna's inner muscles squeezed around Caleb in response to his hips thrusting.

Hanna closed her eyes as the sensations began to flow over her in waves of pleasure. Her climax was quiet but intense, soft gasps coming from her mouth, her muscles contracting around Caleb, her body trembling with her orgasm.

He closed his eyes, his mind shutting down even as his body continued to pleasure both himself and Hanna. As he felt Hanna's climax ebb away, he thrust a final time, groaning as he spilled his warmth into her.

Caleb collapsed onto Hanna with a final groan and careful consideration, Hanna gasping slightly beneath his weight, her arms encircling him. Hanna recovered slowly, basking in the warmth of Caleb's loving caresses. He rolled off of her just a few seconds later, withdrawing from her. He sighed and pulled Hanna to him, both of them snuggling into their familiar and comfortable sleeping positions.

Hanna yawned. "Caleb?" she asked sleepily.

"Hmm?"

"You never answered. Who's the better dancer?"

Caleb hugged Hanna to him. Smiling against her, he answered. "No comparison, babe. You've got the better moves."

"Good husband." She smiled and drifted off to sleep.

"Plus, you know, your boobs are in way better shape than hers. And bigger," Caleb said, a mischievous smile playing about his lips.

Hanna opened her eyes again, looking appalled, though she knew that he had only been teasing her.

His redemption followed promptly. Caleb shifted and breathed a tender kiss on her stomach. "Sorry!" he chuckled and resumed his position, pulling her flush against the side of his body, feeling the swell of her small baby bump press into him.

"Well, I can check them out myself at Emily and Alison's bachelorette party next month," Hanna chuckled into his shoulder before closing her eyes again, the familiar feel of his hand, resting gently on her belly, infinitely calming her and making her fall asleep in an instant.

 **THE END**

* * *

 _ **Hey there, me again after a long strain of writer's block. Just a little something I came up with while lying awake at night, unable to sleep with a sore throat and clogged nose. Hope you enjoyed it. Zip.  
**_

 _ **Shout out to Katey! Here's to our creative juices flowing again!**_


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